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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515281">Liebesleid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minasium/pseuds/Minasium'>Minasium</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kreisler [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:14:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minasium/pseuds/Minasium</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sana recalls her horrible past and met someone from her past. </p><p> </p><p>(This is part 1 of 3(?))</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kreisler [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Liebesleid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wrote this to cope up with anxiety, i highly suggest to listen to Kreisler's Love's sorrow as what the title translate to haha</p><p>And this is unedited bc i'm lazy, Thank you</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sana first met Mina when the latter transfered in her class during 4th grade.</p><p>She really didn't have much friends before as she was a timid and quiet girl who likes to read books.</p><p>So she didn't expect the new girl to talk to her.</p><p>They're first conversation went like a blink of an eye. It was quick and Mina was the first to spoke.</p><p>Not even sure if should be called a conversation with how fast it went.</p><p>Mina only asked if she likes books because she often see the girl reading during break time instead of eating in the cafeteria.</p><p>Sana answered with a quiet "Yes, I do like reading them"</p><p>And then Mina left when her friends called her out to eat with them.</p><p>Mina made friends faster than her when the girl had only been here for 2 weeks, Unlike her who Still sit in the corner of the room reading a book that she can hardly understand because of the choice of words. but that didn't stop her from reading.</p><p>A week after their little talk, Mina stayed at the classroom again and asked if she could sit beside her, Sana didn't have the voice to say No.</p><p>Seconds after that, Mina pulled out a book from her bag and pushed it towards Sana</p><p>"a gift" She said and Sana looked at hrr confusedly, "It's not my birthday" she thought</p><p>"F-for what?"</p><p>"I want to be friends with you"</p><p>Sana didnt have it in her heart to refuse.</p><p>In the two years of her studying in that school,  Sana made her first friend. </p><p>-</p><p>Sana stares at the book an old friend gave to her, She wonders why she was reminiscing about her horrible past but looking at the book now and reminding her about the person who gave it.</p><p>It feels even horrible.</p><p>-</p><p>Mina gave Sana a book from a popular Japanese author Haruki Murakami. The book she gave was not being used nor read by anyone im her family so she decided to give it to Sana.</p><p>Sana was thankful but she doesn't understand why must there be gifts when she jusy wanted to be friends with her. </p><p>Still, Sana thanked the girl by buying her a carton of chocolate milk.</p><p>Ever since then, They started hanging out.</p><p>At first Mina's <em>first</em> friends was opposed to the idea of Mina hanging out with someone weird and deaf quiet as Sana but since Sana wasnt doing anything wrong to them, They let her.</p><p>Mina didn't really understand why her friends doesnt like Sana all because she's quiet and likes reading books.</p><p>To her, Sana was like a book with a plain white cover that has no design or whatsoever to make readers be interested in buying them but,  the contents of the said book was just too unique and interesting</p><p>And That's what their classmates were  missing out.</p><p>Sana was an interesting person that is actually talkative, hrr stories are interesting and is always delivered uniquely</p><p>Mina thought it's because of her being a book worm that telling a story is just so similar to writing</p><p>It's interesting.</p><p>They hang out more and more and more. And Sana would often go over her house to eat or play video games, Something that Sana didnt expect from Mina.</p><p>She had always been this elegant looking girl who does nothing but girly things, Turns out—at home Mina is laid-back, Even louder and knows tons of Video games.</p><p>She said she was influenced by her brother and Sana saw nothing wrong about it. So she wondered why she wasnt anything like that at school.</p><p>Mina started hanging out more with Sana than her friends.</p><p>Her friends got annoyed. But they let them be because they werent doing anything wrong after all. They were just jealous.</p><p>One time, Mina saw her reading a book about romance, Usually it's either fantasy or adventure that she's reading and it's the first time Mina saw her read a romance book.</p><p>"Do you like anyone?" Mina ask and Sana turned red at the question, an image of a person a grade higher than them flashed into her mind</p><p>"Ooooh interesting, who?  Promise i wont tell anyone"</p><p>Even if she promised not to tell, Sana didnt tell who she was interested in to.</p><p>It was during her crush's graduation that Sana was found out.</p><p>All she did was congratulate her sunbae and give her gifts, because she was graduating and god knows when or if they'll ever see each other again.</p><p>The said sunbae was disgusted as she thought Sana's gifts were a confession of her love</p><p>Well she wasnt entirely wrong.</p><p>Although Sana only wanted to congratulate her, But with how her voice stutter and how red her cheeks were, The other party thought it was a confession.</p><p>Words spread fast and people started calling Sana a lesbian, which wasnt entirely wrong either. She was bisexual.</p><p>But that too is not really that accepted in the society yet.</p><p>Her classmates started calling her names of whatever,  really started being mean to her as though completely ignoring her existence through out these years were not mean enough.</p><p>It was sad really, and there was an unbelievable amount of pain in her chest.</p><p>But she thought about her friend, her only friend who had the courage to talk to her.</p><p>She saw how Mina looked at her, It wasnt disgust or pity, It was just blank.</p><p>And Sana doesnt know what the fuck that look mean.</p><p>They never hang out after that But she often see Mina looking at her. But her friends will pull hrr out and drag her elsewhere saying "Stop looking at her, You might get her disease"</p><p>Sana became alone again.</p><p>But she doesn't read books in the classroom anymore.</p><p>She spends her free time taking out trash that was intentionally place inside her bag.</p><p>Or she would change into her PE uniform because a bucket of water was thrown into her by "mistake"</p><p>Or she would spend the rest of break time running away from her bullies, Hiding behind the stair case, clutching onto her chest thinking when will this end?</p><p>She endured 6 more months of them before she could finally graduate.</p><p>She wasn't expecting anything anymore and she just left after the ceremony.</p><p>But when she got home she saw a strawberry yogurt, her favorite, placed inside her bag with note that says "Sorry"</p><p>She knew who gave her that but she didnt care, though she did ate the yogurt only because it was her favorite.</p><p>-</p><p>Sana wasn't angry at her <em>only</em> friend in middle school</p><p>Rather, she has questions why she never tried to reach out when she wanted to.</p><p>She thought she wasnt really angry at all, no.</p><p>But when she saw the girl serving her what she ordered from a newly opened coffee shop, Her fist clenched naturally.</p><p>Mina looked at her stunned and sighed when she saw how her clenched her jaw and fist.</p><p>"i dont want to make a scene inside my own coffee shop, Sattang"</p><p>Sana winced at the nickname and all the pain she thought she had gotten rid of years ago was slowly coming back to her</p><p>"Don't call me that" was the only thing she said before grabbing her order, quickly standing up about to take her leave on the coffee shop. If she knew this place was run by her she wouldn't have come at all.</p><p>"i'm sorry" she heard before she completely left the shop.</p><p>She wanted to cry then and there but she was in the street and the sun was shining brightly upon them. It would've been really embarrassing if someone saw her crying but fuck it who cares?</p><p>Sana walk fastly back to her apartment which was just blocks away from the coffee shop</p><p>"who even recommended me that shop?"</p><p>Sana quicy went inside her apartment building but stopped by the stairs to catch her breath and wipe her tears.</p><p>She didnt expect her reaction to be this... Pathetic.</p><p>She thought she was stronger than this but it seems that she didn't know herself better</p><p>Although sana hated the thought, She had no choice but to take a sip on the iced Americano she ordered</p><p>Heck she doesnt know why took her order still when she couldve just left it there and let her money go to waste, she has a lot anyway</p><p>She doesn't care.</p><p>"Fuck! What is this?!" sana immediately spit out the beverage when she tasted that it wasnt an americano but a strawberry milktea</p><p>"zero star im service this isnt even what i ordered" Sana went back to her unit with a knitted for her. Her tears had stopped but the pain in her chest was still there.</p><p>And she doesn't know when will it fade.</p><p>#</p><p>"i'm sorry but i got your order mixed up, i'll go get yours fast"Mina apologized to the other customers after watching Sana leave with a different order in hand</p><p>When she saw her enter the shop earlier, She couldn't help but panic and hide and told the other staff to go take her order instead.</p><p>After years of not seeing each other this is where she'd see her,  if she knew this would happen she would have started a coffee shop years ago.</p><p>Mina had been searching for her or maybe thinking about her, She never stopped thinking about Sana. And she still consider her her friend even aftrr all these years</p><p>Even when she knows that Sana probably hates her now for not reaching out.</p><p>But it's not like she wanted that to happen??  She was just scared.</p><p>But that alone truly is a foul move already, She could have asked her so called friends to stop attacking Sana but she didnt, she remained silent as she watch her get bullied for absolutely no reason.</p><p>At one point she wanted to stand po for her and tell the school the truth that she likes women too but she couldn't, she was afraid.</p><p>So even if she did nothing  to Sana, She was one of those who wronged her because she didnt stand up for her.</p><p>"Seems like you know that pink haired lady" Momo asks as she sat in front of Mina</p><p>"yeah, I know her... But i also dont but yeah i get what you mean"</p><p>"Ex?"</p><p>"Ex... Friend? I guess" Mina sighed</p><p>"I dont know your history but she looks really angry" Momo couldnt help but point out</p><p>"i dont know but i bet she is?"</p><p>"okay you're complicating things, tell me what happened instead"</p><p>Mina sighed but she knew She could trust Momo. They have been friends for years now and they were the ones who's runing this coffee shop. it was a dream for the both of them so they thought, why not? </p><p>"I dont know, It's really complicated i mean we used to be really close but then the whole school started bullying her because a senior spread a rumour that she was a lesbian and yeah... I've never told you about this because you might hate me but gosh I didnt do anything and just... Watched" the look of regret is visible on Mina face</p><p>"You're a bitch"</p><p>"yes. i know, Momo. thank you for pointing it out"</p><p>"something is telling me that she is more than just a friend to you" Momo snickered teasingly and Mina only rolled her eyes</p><p>"and you're not wrong about that"</p><p>"Oh...that's new"</p><p>Mina And Momo first met 5 years ago when they became roommates.</p><p>It was awkward. Really, Both of them like women and surprise, Both were hot and pretty totally each other's type</p><p>But for some reason they didnt really had anything special going on aside from being roommates and Friends</p><p>They just instantly became best friends without them noticing it and they just started hanging out together and doing stupid stuffs and one of them includes starting a café right after graduation.</p><p>Well that's what happens when you're unsure of what to do after graduation.</p><p>Mina never really told momo of her past and she also was never one to be interested in anyone so Momo Wondered if her friend is actually asexual.</p><p>So mina opening uo to her now despite being friends for years was new. And she doesn't mind. We all have stuffs we rather not talk about.</p><p>"i'm sorry to tell you but i dont think you'll be seeing her anytime soon" Momo scoffed and Mija knew it was a fact that doesn't need to be discussed at all Because it was already a given in this type of situation.</p><p>So she really disnt expect to see her a month later, With a shorter pale girl who's actually really beautiful.</p><p>"i think i've lost my chance already" Mina stated with a sigh, it broke her heart really, Assuming that the girl beside Sana was her girlfriend</p><p>"i don't think so"</p><p>"How can you say that?"</p><p>"Because that girl beside her is <em>my</em> girl"Momo said then proceed to call her girl over,  they smiled at each other before talking and Sana who was beside her just snobbed her and look for a seat</p><p>"Does she really hate me that much?" Mina thought to herself</p><p>"Oh, i think i did heard about you,  It's nice to finally out a face on the name, I'm Mina" Mina shook hands with Momo's girlfriend named Dahyun who turns out to be Sana's editor in the books she's writing</p><p>Small world</p><p>Dahyun took her and Sana's order and she went back to the table to wait, asking sana why she didn't went with her to the counter so she could meet Momo.</p><p>Sana disnt answer and only look annoyed as she watch Mina take an order from a different customer.</p><p>If she knew Dahyun wanted to go here, she would have protest and opposed to the idea but it was too late.</p><p>Occupied by her thoughts, She didnt notice Mina getting closer to them with a tray in hand,  She looked away.</p><p>"two free cakes, on the house" Mina stated as she smile at dahyun but her eyes were completely fixed on Sana</p><p>"we didnt ask for that though" She heard and Sana herself was shock, Dahyun's eyes grew wide too as she never really heard Dana be rude like that or its just really not in her blood to act like a bitch in front of someone</p><p>"S-sorry,  You what dahyun i think we should resche— why do you hate me so much?" Mina couldn't help but ask and dahyun was just shock in her seat signaling for Momo to come and fix what ever the situation was.</p><p>"i-i dont" Sana cleared he throat and was about to stand up and leave again, but Mina wouldn't let that happen</p><p>Not without her at least 'trying' to make Sana stay,</p><p>"Just ignore me like what you did in the past then we're  good" Sana whispered</p><p>"i cant do that,  i cant let that happen again, It's  already my biggest regret and Mistake why would i do it again?" mina tried to keep her voice down to not gain attention but with the atmosphere and tension between her and Sana, gazes and whisperes where inevitable</p><p>Momo finally stepped in when she noticed the customers gettung bothered "I think you two should talk it out inside"</p><p>"no,  I think it's  best if i leave" Sana started walking away but Mina held her wrist</p><p>"Lets just talk for a minute, Please" Mina begged</p><p>And sana doesnt have it in her heart to refuse, even if she hated to person before her right now.</p><p>But does she really hate her? </p><p>When sana Stopped and gestured for Mina to lead the Way,,Momo started apologizing to their customers and immediately explain things to her girlfriend who was shock and confused.</p><p>"i dont get why you want to talk to me when there's literally nothing to talk about" sana was first to speak when they entered the staff room.</p><p> </p><p>Mina followed behind her and closed the doors, Afraid that things could get loud and they might scare off her customers</p><p> </p><p>"There is something to talk about Sat—Sana"</p><p> </p><p>Sana winced again when she almost heard the nickname that young Mina gave to her.</p><p> </p><p>"it's been years Mina, Literal years you could've just ignored and pretend that you didnt know me, Isnt that what you're good at?"  She scoffed feeling her chest tighten now that she realized that she's alone in a room with someone she didnt knew she would meet still after all these years</p><p> </p><p>"i never wanted to ignore you, i was just scared... I'm sure you know how much i wanted to comfort you but i couldn't— Yes! because you are a coward! You didnt know either that i was waiting for you to do something because they were your friends! You could've have told them to stop but with how things went, i bet you didnt" tears started forming at the side of their eyes. mina doesnt care about the shop nor the customers anymore</p><p> </p><p>"I tried"</p><p> </p><p>"It was hard, Mina" Sana's voice was strong and came out hard like a sword piercing through Minas chest "i spent a year avoiding everyone during break time, A year of dealing with stupid bullshits of your friends and you... Did nothing"</p><p> </p><p>"They arent my friends anymore, I know its too late already but after you left the ceremony i told them off the teachers, And there were some who stood by me and served as a witness"</p><p> </p><p>Sana scoffed "Too late for that now"</p><p> </p><p>"i know, But they were blacklisted in any highschool they try to Attend to for 3 years"</p><p> </p><p>"and what do you want me to do with these informations??"</p><p> </p><p>"I just wanted to let you know that i still did something, it's too late because you weren't there i kno—" Mina's voice cracked " and i dont know if it would make you feel better or not but i... I Just truly want to apologize" tears started flowing down her cheeks</p><p> </p><p>"for 10 years i've been carrying the guilt for not doing anything while the damage was being done, and I'm still holding onto that guilt</p><p> </p><p>I knew you were alone and that i was your only friend back then but i didnt stayed, yes, because i was a coward and i was afraid, I was young and i didnt know how to handle it yet and yes i know it's not an excuse and i'm not saying all these so you can forgive me, i just want to apologize.</p><p> </p><p>So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything" mina lowered her head and waited for a response, subtly wiping her tears away but it's just keep on coming</p><p> </p><p>It was just a terrible silence for the next couple of minutes.</p><p> </p><p>Sana was wiping her tears as she gether her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>She never knew about some of her classmates getting blacklisted in high schools. She was never one to take revenge but she does hold grudges. And somehow hearing about what happened to those who wronged her made her feel relieved.</p><p> </p><p>It wad years ago but that means they were hold off to school for 3 years, Some of them could still be studying and Sana wanted to laugh somehow. </p><p> </p><p>She sighed after calming herself down</p><p> </p><p>"you did nothing..." Mina look up and her heart started beating even faster "...wrong"</p><p> </p><p>"and i dont really hate you,  I was just angry at the fact that you did nothing but you didnt do anything wrong to me... I accept your apology but you're not forgiven so Can i leave now?"</p><p> </p><p>"i-i —well —yeah, of course, thank you for your time...  And if youre comfortable enough you can always visit here..." Mina continue wiping her tears away as she open the door and saw there were no customers aside from Dahyun</p><p> </p><p>"Sana, do you want to reschedule our meeting?" Dahyun asked once she's out and she nodded before immediately taking her leave</p><p> </p><p>"I had to close for a moment and gladly the costumers were understanding enough and left on their own, it was quite intense there,  How did it go?" Momo handed Mina a tissue</p><p> </p><p>"we'll find out if she comes back" Was Minas only answer and then things (on her part) went back to normal.</p><p> </p><p>#</p><p>Days, weeks, months, passed and Sana never returned to the café.</p><p> </p><p>The only time Mina gets news about her is when Dahyun goes to their shop and the latter would tell her about how she's doing and stuffs like that.</p><p> </p><p>In the end,  Mina accepted the fact that things will never go back to normal anymore and that the chances of them being friends again is very low</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>and that also means that Mina's first love is a complete fail.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Until one day, Sana entered the shop with a smile plastered in her face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks</p></blockquote></div></div>
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